To cuddle after sex -- or to sleep, perchance to dream?
That is the question researchers
at the University of Michigan and Albright College in Pennsylvania
asked. And they found out that when one partner falls asleep first, the
lover who stays awake is left craving more bonding and affection.
Lead researcher Dan Kruger says, "The more one's partner was likely to
fall asleep after sex, the stronger the desire for bonding." And it's
not always the guys sawing logs right after sex and the women who want
to cuddle -- the research shows men are just as likely to crave
post-woo-hoo cuddling as women. But is it cuddling we want -- or satisfaction?
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Right after reading about this study, I couldn't help thinking about
comedian Louis CK's latest concert video where he talks about
cuddling after sex. He says it's something women do when their lovers
are lousy. They're left lying next to the man, thinking: Is that
it?!? THERE HAS TO BE MORE!!! Hence the cuddling. As Louis puts it,
"If you did it right, she'll leave you alone."
Maybe it's just because I've been married since the Triassic period,
but I tend to agree with Louis. "Doing it right" is a form of
intimacy. It takes a lot of communication and connection. You know,
bonding-type stuff. And then you both get to rest. I'm all for the
post-coital roll over and snooze routine. Why? I'll leave that to your
imagination. Plus I'm married to a talker so I hear all about his
feelings all day long.
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But regardless, the study is food for thought. What do people
really want when their partners fall asleep right after sex? Why is
emotional bonding such an important part of sex for so many people, male
and female? And in the movie When Harry Met Sally, is Sally
right to be angry when Harry asks, "How long do I have to lie here
and hold her before I can get up and go home?" The world may
never know.
Are you a cuddler, or do you fall asleep right after sex?
Image via scarycurlgirl_photos/Flickr
Written by Adriana Velez on CafeMom's
blog, The Stir.
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